When it comes to cookies, nothing beats the classic chocolate chip. (Although my heart will always belong to Pirate Oatmeal Peanut Butter Cookies.) And while they may seem simple, chocolate chip cookies are complicated.

When it comes to Canadian icons, butter tarts are right up there with Casey and Finnegan. But for something so simple, butter tarts can go so wrong. Too sweet, too much crust, too gummy, the list goes on. And while your best bet is to purchase from a business that specializes in butter tarts, is it possible to find a decent butter tart at your grocery store?

Some people like to dance salsa. Me, I like to eat salsa. I put it on Crispy Minis, in my scrambled eggs, and, of course, on tortilla chips. But I’ve never given much thought to different brands of salsa.

When it comes to soups, none are as reviled as cream of mushroom. It’s not comforting like chicken noodle, not sophisticated like squash, and not hearty like vegetable. Let’s face it – cream of mushroom soup is the colour of despair, and those little bits of grey mushrooms are reminiscent of rotten teeth.

Scotland has gifted the world with many treasures, including the Loch Ness Monster, stuffed sheep stomach, and the voice of Sheena Easton. Scotland has also given the world shortbread.

As a kid, I don’t know what terrified me more at Halloween time: Getting too close to an open flame in my polyester costume, crossing the street at night while wearing a plastic mask with two tiny slits for eyeholes, or peering into strangers’ houses and seeing their unfortunate home decor choices.

Long considered to be a Canadian national dish, Kraft Dinner has been a staple in many households since it was first introduced in 1937. During my childhood, it was part of a balanced meal once you added the ketchup (vegetable) and a cut-up boiled wiener (protein).

Of all the traditional holiday foods, few are hated more than fruitcake. But what did fruitcake ever do to warrant such animosity? I mean, it’s still cake, after all. Personally, I believe fruitcake deserves more respect. Fruitcake is a fighter. When the world ends, cockroaches and fruitcake will be the two things left standing.

It’s not autumn until you’re unwedging your front teeth from a candy apple, dodging drunk wasps, and wearing your new parka when it’s 28 degrees outside. It’s also not autumn until you’re enjoying a glass of apple cider and poking your eye with a cinnamon stick every time you take a sip.

Summer is many things for me: Hawaiian Tropic Dark Tanning Oil, thongs, roller skates, and boardwalks. (In that order.). But summer is also about food. And nothing says summer to me like a good helping of macaroni salad on a soggy paper plate.

For most people, elementary school was a time of learning, exploration, and growth. For me, it was about the joy of finding a cellophane-wrapped Twinkie in my lunch box. Or a Hostess Cupcake. Or a Wagon Wheel. If grades were given out for glucose-fructose and guar gum consumption, I would’ve been the smartest kid in class.

For some people, Easter represents a time of rebirth, redemption and hope. For me, it’s about chocolate. Specifically, chowing down on chocolate bunnies while wearing my Easter bonnet.

But with so many varieties and price ranges to choose from, which bunny is the best?

For better or worse, eggnog is a divisive holiday beverage. (Even more divisive than Coffee Mate’s Frosted Gingerbread.) Hate it or love it, there’s no middle ground. But what turns people off eggnog? The nutmeg? The phlegmy texture? The raw egg origins? Or maybe it’s that, on the French side of the carton, it reads “lait de poule” which translates in English to “chicken milk.”

Sugar cereals have always had a bad rap. But I think it’s undeserved. Often, a heaping bowl of sugar, corn syrup and high monounsaturated canola oil is the best way to start your day.