Best and Worst Cream of Mushroom Soup

When it comes to soups, none are as reviled as cream of mushroom. It’s not comforting like chicken noodle, not sophisticated like squash, and not hearty like vegetable. Let’s face it – cream of mushroom soup is the colour of despair, and those little bits of grey mushrooms are reminiscent of rotten teeth. When I was growing up, cream of mushroom wasn’t even considered a soup; it was glue for casseroles.

But have we judged cream of mushroom soup too harshly?

I taste tested 10 different brands, ranging from no name to organic. I evaluated each on colour, quantity of rotten teeth – sorry, I mean mushroom bits – and taste. I made the condensed versions with two-percent milk, not water, so as not to give the ready-made versions the winning edge.

Were any brands souper? (Sorry.) Read on to find out!

1) Tim Hortons, $2.97

I don’t trust any place known for its coffee and chocolate glazed donuts to be a soup expert. But I went into this taste test with an open mind and open tastebuds. So, have I always got time for Tim Horton’s soup?

Tasting notes: This looked creamy and was the same colour as the hallway of my childhood home. There were no chunks of mushrooms, just speckles. In terms of taste, Tim’s was too thick and very bland. It would’ve been nice to have something else to add depth of flavour, like an herb. Or a Timbit.

Verdict: Ain’t nobody got time for that.

2) Pacific Foods, $4.39

This was one of two organic brands I tested. I’ve learned over the years that organic doesn’t always mean better. And really, if I’m eating cream of mushroom soup, am I a person who is concerned about GMOs?

Tasting notes: This made a distinct glopping noise as it slithered out of the can. We weren’t off to an appetizing start. In terms of colour, it reminded me of papier-mâché paste. There wasn’t much mushroom action. It was watery and had very little flavour, despite the onion and garlic powder listed on the label.

Verdict: Toss this one back into the ocean.

3) Aylmer, $0.97

Aylmer is a Canadian brand, so I couldn’t help but feel inclined towards it. That said, the label reads, “Your secret ingredient.” Meaning – this soup only tastes good when mixed with other things. When even the soup maker is saying that, it doesn’t exactly boost my confidence.

Tasting notes: There was hardly a mushroom in sight. It was the colour of Eagle Brand Sweetened Condensed Milk but didn’t arouse me in the same way. That said, this soup had more flavour than most of the others. Which isn’t saying all that much, to be honest.

Verdict: Patriotism will only get you so far.

4) No Name, $0.69

I didn’t have any grand expectations for this brand, which is how you should approach most No Name products. And life in general.

Tasting notes: The soup maintained its shape when it slid out, embedded can marks and all. There were few mushroom pieces. The colour reminded me of that putty used to seal holes in wood. It was thicker than some of the other brands, but also had a lumpy, gelatinous texture that disturbed me. There was also a bit of heat to this. Which also disturbed me.

Verdict: I was disturbed.

5) Batchelors, $5.49

Given that I’d already tested Batchelors mac and cheese to lacklustre results, I wasn’t looking forward to this. Soup in a cup always confuses me. Am I supposed to drink it? That seems wrong on so many levels.

Tasting notes: The directions called for 230 ml of boiling water which seemed odd because one cup is 250 ml. Was that extra 20 ml going to make or break this? The soup was the colour of clay water. It also had croutons, which eerily stayed crispy, and flecks of parsley which added some colour. The taste was surprisingly not bad. That doesn’t mean it tasted good, mind you.

Verdict: This batchelor has yet to find love.

6) President’s Choice, $2.99

Sometimes, the PC brands come out a winner. (See my shortbread taste test.) But other times, it seems the brand is more about marketing than about quality. At least this wasn’t proclaiming itself as “World’s Best Cream of Mushroom Soup.” (As if such a thing exists.)

Tasting notes: It was similar in texture to the Tim Horton’s brand, although it had more chunks of mushrooms. The colour was International Delight French Vanilla coffee cream that’s been sitting in the back of the staff fridge for eight months. In terms of taste, I didn’t like this one at all. It was too thick and creamy. If it leaves a coating on your tongue, that’s a hard pass for me.

Verdict: Back to the campaign trail, Mr. President.

7) Campbell’s, $3.69

This is Campbell’s non-condensed version. I guess it’s for people who consider themselves too bougie for the regular kind. Or can’t be bothered with water.

Tasting notes: This was horrible! It was thick and cloying and reminded me of wallpaper paste. (Speaking of – it was also the colour of wallpaper paste.) I went back to the can to make sure I wasn’t supposed to add water. What kind of person would eat this soup and say it tasted good? Never mind, I don’t want to know.

Verdict: A very bad mushroom trip.

8) Amy’s, $3.99

This was the second organic brand on my list. I got confused between Amy’s and Annie’s, the brand that won my macaroni and cheese taste test. I’d like to think Amy and Annie are friends and get together to discuss organic things.

Tasting notes: This one had very specific directions. It said to shake the can before opening (which I didn’t read before opening) and called for only a ¼ cup of milk. It also said to please not overcook. Amy is very particular. In terms of colour, it reminded me of wet cement. But it was packed with mushroom pieces and had very good flavour.

Verdict: Amy, you’re anal. But with good reason.

9) Knorr, $2.29

Like the Batchelors brand, this came in an envelope. But it wasn’t nearly as easy to make. I wish I had read the instructions before buying it.

Tasting notes: First, I had to mix water and milk with the powder and whisk it constantly until it came to a boil. It took forever and my arm almost fell off. Then it said to turn the heat down, partially cover it, and let the soup simmer for five minutes. Problem was, it overboiled and made a complete mess of my stovetop. I was not a happy camper. The flavour was okay, but it left a lingering weird taste on my tongue.

Verdict: I will neither make knorr eat this brand again.

10) Campbell’s (condensed), $0.99

The OG that started it all. I saved this one for last as I was curious how it would stack up against the others. Would the Cream Queen hold onto her crown?

Tasting notes: This was the colour of polluted clouds. The taste wasn’t bad, it was sort of nondescript, and middle of the road. In other words, it had few redeeming qualities. Which is what my mom used to say about me.

Verdict: Not the best, not the worst.

I’m sad to report that the majority of these soups did nothing to salvage the reputation of cream of mushroom soup. If I had to pick one that could stand on its own, I’d say Amy’s, although it left a lingering onion taste, followed by Aylmer’s. The rest I’m banishing to the toadstool forest with Campbells non-condensed leading the fungi parade.

This all proves that the only place for cream of mushroom soup is in casseroles. Speaking of, here’s one of my faves, Ranch House Casserole. Despite its name, you don’t need to live on a ranch, or even in a house, to make it. But you do need an oven.

1 package Kraft Dinner
1 can cream of mushroom soup
¼ cup milk
1 can canned sliced mushrooms
1 cup hot, cooked peas

Heat oven to 350°. Prepare Kraft Dinner as directed on package. Add soup and milk and combine thoroughly. Fold in mushrooms and peas. Place in casserole dish. Bake for 20 minutes.

Did I miss a brand of cream of mushroom soup you think is worthy of consideration? Leave a comment and share it with the world.